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  • Happiness: A Difficult Choice (Pt. 1)
  • What is Gita-Yoga?
Happiness: A Difficult Choice (Pt. One)
 
Monday, Dec. 01, 5:38am
 
Happiness is indeed a choice. However, the problem is twofold. 1) We don’t know what happiness is. 2) We don’t know who we are or what we need. Knowing who we are is pivotal in gaining both the knowledge, wisdom and  courage to choose happiness.
 
For the sake of this discussion I will take for granted that we agree on the existence of a soul or spirit that inhabits the material body. I will take this for granted for the simple reason that to delve into that topic would require an entirely different and far lengthier post.
 
The presence of the soul in the body, call it spirit, consciousness, the anti-material particle or whatever, is key in choosing happiness. All religions recognize the existence of the soul and science, while confounded in trying to measure or quantify the quality of the soul, is hard-pressed to deny that there is something more to life than the  mere interaction of chemical compounds.
 
Even the most die-hard Big Bang theorists will agree the Big Bang theory is merely the best scientific theory, to date, that attempts to explain the phenomena of life and creation. It is recognized as merely a theory which must be proven, just like this theory of the soul thank you very much!
 
So once again let’s take for granted the existence of the soul for the moment and move forward.
 
The soul and body are different; spirit and matter respectively. As described in Vedic thought the soul has three fundamental qualities that matter does not have.
 
1) Eternality
2) Awareness
3) Joy
 
Eternality differentiates the soul from matter in that matter, all matter, deteriorates over time. The soul exists unchanged forever. Matter does not have this quality.  Matter decays, deteriorates, changes form and even its chemical properties.
 
Awareness differentiates the soul from matter in a most obvious way; consciousness.  I know this brings up the Artificial Intelligence question and of Sonny in “I, Robot”, and while I liked the movie as well, let’s not go there for the moment. It is this consciousness or awareness that gives “life” to matter.
 
Joy, a quality that requires sentience, consciousness or awareness, is not to be found in the realm of matter. Matter, bereft of spirit, is devoid of joy.
 
Now that we know the difference between matter and spirit we have come half way. Now we must come to know what Joy is. All human beings are essentially the same in terms of our physiological make up. However, at the same time every human being, no matter how similar, is specifically and tangibly unique. So to with the soul, all souls share the same constitutional make up but are specifically and uniquely different.
 
Joy is attained when the soul experiences and exists true to its individual and constitutional nature. The constitutional nature of each individual soul is not for me to say. The journey of self-discovery is a highly personal one. As a personal coach I assist others as best I can but uncovering the unique and constitutional nature of an individual soul is a personal undertaking. This is why I mentioned earlier that it takes knowledge, wisdom and courage to choose happiness.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Let’s recap. The body and soul are different; the qualities of the soul are eternality, awareness and joy; and joy is the realization and experience of one’s constitutional spiritual nature and uniqueness.
 
For simplicity’s sake let’s substitute the word happiness for joy going forward. Joy would be the proper translation from the original Sanskrit but in English the word happiness would do just as well. Besides I couldn’t very well title the article “The Choice of Joy”, sounds like the title of a badly written romance novel.
 
The Two Pleasurable Experiences:
 
1) Happiness
2) Gratification
 
Now there is one last bit of information we must know before we begin choosing happiness/joy. We are souls inhabiting a body of matter. As the soul experiences happiness; the body experiences gratification. Happiness and Gratification are two very different experiences, which in turn lead to very different consequences.
Gratification is based upon our external reality. Social standing, material possessions, power, relationships etc, all have sway in our external reality. We get gratification from driving nice cars, living in the best of houses, achieving status among our peers etc. However, the problem here is that because all of these things are based in our external reality, over which we have comparatively little control, when they are taken away we are distressed.
 
The nature of gratification, as pleasurable as it is, is that it is not truly within our control. Gratification brings with it an underlying, though undetected, hint of anxiousness as we fear to lose the source or cause of our gratification.
 
Happiness is based upon our internal, spiritual maturity. Our external reality can and will, vacillate from one extreme to another. Our internal reality, based solely on the level of our spiritual maturity, will not fluctuate, cannot be taken away and is not  subject to the upheaval that may be our external reality.
 
Pain and Torture
 
This is not to say that our external reality has no impact whatsoever on our spiritual well-being and vice-versa. Only persons as spiritually elevated as Christ can endure an abominable external reality yet remain spiritually centered. Adverse external circumstances, such as dire financial straits, can certainly negatively impact our spiritual well-being.
Conversely, spiritual desolation negatively affects our external reality, no matter how affluent, powerful and successful we may be. The saying, “money does not buy happiness” comes from this principle. If we are spiritually under-developed we gain can no joy despite being surrounded by the tools of gratification.
 
Balance must be struck. We are spiritual beings in a material reality. We have to grow, mature and succeed equally in both realms in order to be stable, fulfilled and happy individuals. Let’s look at it this way, “money does not buy happiness; but it does buy gratification.” All we must remember is that gratification has a down side; it is beyond our control and subject to the inconstancy and inconsistency of the world and reality around us.
 
The Problem
 
This is the easy part. The problem is that we have never been taught to identity happiness and we have not the courage to choose happiness.
 
To be continued...
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What is Gita-yoga?
 
Wed. Dec. 03, 9:07pm
 
In 1999 I left India and moved to Norway. I was newly married, just starting a promising career and things were looking quite positive. I achieved an enviable running start in life when I rather suddenly encountered a brick wall.
 
Sitting among the shattered debris that remained of a once promising life, you can imagine the amount of soul-searching that takes place. I had been immensely proud and confident in my spiritual education and felt that the knowledge I had gained would help me navigate the stormy seas of life. I was right on both counts; I did receive an excellent education and the knowledge could help me throughout life; if only I could figure out how to apply it.
 
I sank into depression and antipathy and became little more than an automaton. I deliberately, and almost vengefully, rebelled against all that I had been taught while growing up. It was a time in my life of which I am not particularly proud. In any event a friend of mine recommended a book I read. It was a book by the Jesuit priest Anthony De Mello, “Awareness”.
 
In “Awareness” De Mello tells the story of a junior priest receiving guidance and support from a senior priest. The senior is quoting scripture, telling the young adherent how to enhance his prayers and to whom he should offer which prayers and at what times of day and so on. As I grew up in religious Hindu boarding schools for umpteen years this story began to resonate quite strongly with me. Finally the young priest looked the Father straight in the eye and said, “Sir, all that you say is entirely true but thoroughly useless.”
 
At that moment Gita-yoga was born.
 
Here I had all the spiritual knowledge and theoretical understanding to create and live a successful life and I had fallen flat on my face. I was galvanized, after having read that book, to take spiritual teachings, philosophy and principles turn it into practices that resonant fully, completely and immediately in modern life.
 
“and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and know the place for the first time”
 
- T.S. Eliot
 
This was the first time in my life, and it wouldn’t be the last but that is another post, that I had come full circle and saw with clarity where I had been, where I currently stood and where I needed to be.
 
I broke open all my boxes of books, re-read old articles I had written, listened to old tapes of my past lectures, re-studied old texts and assignments of my teachers and set to figuring out a way to turn valid, spiritual principles into effective, tangible practices.
 
Commonly, though erroneously, referred to as the Bible of Hinduism, the Bhagavad Gita has always been among my favorite philosophical books. This was a natural and very easy starting point. How to make the Bhagavad-Gita relevant to those who are unable to spend 15 years trying to figure it all out?
 
I was rejuvenated to the point that I once again began giving lectures and coaching throughout the Scandinavian countries. However, the difference is that I now focused specifically on principles taken only from the Bhagavad Gita and concentrated on finding ways my clients could implement those principles the very same day!
 
If, after a lecture, seminar or coaching session, the participants or client did not leave with a clear idea of what they needed to do, specifically, the very next day then I had failed.
 
Not surprisingly I failed numerous times and in countless ways, and continue to do so even to this day! However, as I carried on refining my approach, studying, receiving feedback, researching, receiving more feedback a pattern or several patterns began to emerge. Now all I had to do was link what people wanted and needed to my realizations, understanding and experience. Presto! Gita Yoga.
 
The word Gita is of course in reference to the Bhagavad Gita. Yoga, as I assume we all know, means to connect or link. Gita Yoga very simply is about how to get the teachings of the Bhagavad-Gita to make sense in our everyday reality.
 
Gita Yoga is based on four basic principles taken from the philosophy of the Gita. I will list the Sanskrit terms and English translations as well so that you may look them up at
a later time.
 
1) Saucam – Purity:  To live with honour
2) Satyam – Truth: To confront with maturity
3) Tapam – Austerity: To achieve self-mastery
4) Daya – Compassion: To conquer with love.
 
1) Saucam (Purity) - to Live With Honour:
 
This principle is for those of us who say “yes” when we really wanted to say “no”. Honourable living means that our actions, words and motives are all in alignment.
 
To live with honour means, “to say what we mean and mean what we say”. This principle is based on the understanding that if our motives are less than transparent then we cannot speak with credibility.
If our communication is out of sync with our motives and our motives are out of sync with our actions what kind of life are we creating for ourselves?
 
A person who lives without honour is deceitful and lacks integrity thus causing harm to themselves, their relationships and the world at large.
 
Practice of this principle is the easiest of the four, though no less significant, we must simply ask ourselves, “why”. We must examine or question our motives. When we question our motives we bring them to light, when we bring them to light they become transparent and thus pure.
 
2) Satyam (Truth) - To confront with maturity:
 
As the first principles deals with our personal character development this, the second principle, deals with how we interact with others; specifically, how we communicate with them. We confront with maturity by dealing exclusively in truth. If we have not examined our motives, gained transparency and begun to live true to ourselves then how can we possibly interact with our loved ones on the basis of truth?
 
We must live with honour before we are able to confront the world with the compassion and courage of truth. We must know our own truth before we can relate to others in truth.
 
Confronting with maturity has two components:
 
1) The Art of Truthfulness
2) The Art of Listening
 
The Art of Truthfulness has three facets:
 
1) Honesty – This is the “what” you are saying. Our communications should be factual representations of our now purified and transparent motives.
 
2) Pleasant – This is the “how” you say it. If our speech and language is crass, uncultured, insensitive and arrogant we will come to be known as crass, uncultured, insensitive and arrogant. Who listens and pays attention to such persons, let alone take them seriously?
 
3 Benevolence – This is the “why” you are saying it. If you harbour feelings of ill-will toward another it is highly unlikely that what you say of, or to, the other person will hardly be to their benefit. Once again we see the importance of examining, acknowledging and clearing our motives.
 
This is the Art of Truthfulness. Communications on this level is profound and extremely powerful, ask Mahatma Gandhi.
 
The Art of Listening has six sub-components:
 
I will not list or go into the Art of Listening here because that discussion is a post in and of itself. However, the overall principle in the Art of Listening is to ask a question. A person who has the courage to ask a question is extremely rare to find these days. Most of us fear to ask questions, not so much because we do not want to appear foolish, no. Most of us fear to ask a question because we are afraid the answer may cause us to change.
 
It is change that we fear. We do not want to receive new knowledge that may interrupt our comfortable life patterns, or worse, dismantle our belief system. The courage necessary to ask questions, the personal strength and internal security necessary to ask questions, is quite hard to come by. This is the essence of the Art of Listening.
 
3) Tapa (Self-mastery) To achieve Self-mastery.
 
In this principle we turn our focus back on our selves. To achieve Self-mastery is key in creating, sustaining and nourishing relationships. If we have not mastered our actions, habits, communication and thoughts we are setting ourselves, and our relationships, up for disaster.
 
We achieve mastery on three levels:
 
Body – (Our Actions)
Words – (Our communication)
Mind – (Our Motives)
 
We gain mastery over our actions by regulating our daily habits; eating, sleeping, recreation, work and so on.
 
We gain mastery over our communication by practicing the Arts of Truthfulness and Listening.
 
We gain mastery over our motives by identifying and acknowledging them.
 
When we have gained total self-mastery our relationships will rest on solid foundations. This principle is critical in developing and living the final and fourth principle of Gita-yoga.
 
4) Daya (Compassion) - To conquer with love
 
I use the word conquer deliberately. Christ, Gandhi and King all conquered with love. Love is defined quite nicely in the Bhagavad Gita. Love means knowledge. Love means that you will seek out the truth no matter where it will lead.
 
To love a person means to understand and acknowledge the unique and individual wants, drives and motives of another person. To conquer them is to then address those wants, drives and motives according to their uniqueness.
 
However, in order to truly and deeply understand another person we must have the maturity, courage and personal security to ask questions. Without the ability to ask and listen we will be unable to nourish relationships.
 
These are the four principles of Gita Yoga. There will be more detailed posts following that go into each principle in-depth but this will have to suffice for now.
 
You can listen in on my daily Tele-seminars; topics and schedules are posted at www.coachgray.net, and hear firsthand about Gita Yoga. The Tele-seminars are free as is the e-coaching.
 
So that is Gita-yoga, in a nutshell, I hope you are inspired to pick up a Gita and check it out some time.

 
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